"Mommy... can robots fart if they don't breath?"
January 13th
Whilst cutting Thomas's hair we had the following conversation:
Thomas: "Are you cutting my hair to donate, like yours?"
Me: "Nah, its not long enough to donate it"
Thomas: "Well that's a good thing"
Me:"...why do you think so?"
Thomas: "My hair gets a lot of food in it...nobody would want it. It takes long to clean, so if you cut it, there is less places for food to get in"
January 20th
While at grocery store, Thomas is asking if we can buy things, and how much they cost. Most are usual...fruit, toys, ice cream. Then he stumps me with, "Can we buy a butt?"
Me: "Did you say butt? Like on a person, or did I mis-hear?"
Thomas: "You know, butt like what you sit on. Can we get one? I don't think they cost much."
Me: "what? How much do you think they cost?"
Me(watching Thomas get all mischievous and giddy, rubbing his hands together at the thought of all this butt): "You still haven't told me WHY you want a butt."
Thomas: "To fart, of course! We sit on them and they fart"
Oh...whoopie cushion!
February 3rd
According to Thomas, babies come from weddings.
February 9th
Jeff made Thomas some hot chocolate, and I added a lot of marshmallows. Thomas started to drink it and says, "This is the best soup EVER!"
February 14th
Oh Thomas, you will make some lady proud one day. It's midnight of the eve of Valentines, and Thomas literally runs down the stairs, opens my door, saying "Mommy, mommy, I forgot!"
Me (sleepily):"What? Why? Huh?"
Thomas:"I got flowers for all the girls in class, but what about Anais? (Long time friend) I always get her flowers! She will miss them, and be mad at me. Can we go get some?"
Me:"Sure, after school. We'll call her mom and see if its okay to bring them after swimming."
Thomas:" BUT MOM! She should wake up with flowers! It would make her smile and be a surprise! PLEASE!
February 24th
Short lived sentiment..
Thomas:"Daddy, you are awesome!"
Jeff: "Thank you Thomas! That was ve.."
Thomas( interrupting)"SHHH! I am trying to play my game."
March 2nd
"Dinosaurus are sneaky. They are trying to make sure no one thinks they are real...but they are! Shhh!"
Me: "Dinosaurs became extinct a LONG time ago. What do you mean?"
Thomas: "Nope! They just want you to think that. The really just turned into alligators, rhinos, and dolphins. Can't you see that? "
March 10th
So fashionable...
I told Thomas we needed to go buy him new pants because his current ones are too short.
Thomas: "But if we get longer pants, no one will be able to see my socks."
Me: "That's kind of the point. You're pants shouldn't be that much higher than the top of your shoes."
Thomas: "really? My shorts are way higher than my shoes...they go to my knees!"
Me: "Shorts are suppose too."
Thomas: "Well then, these pants are just long shorts. And everyone can see when I wear Spider-Man socks. It's perfect!"
March 12th
"Girls sit down when they pee because they are so tired. It must be really hard to pee without a penis. If I had to worked as hard as a girl does, I'd sit down too."March 21st
Somehow, Thomas and I started talking about Nicknames. He loves his middle name Sakeeta, because he loves to say his name is "the cheetah", since it sounds the same.
I asked him what nickname he would choose for me, and he said "The Shark"
Me confused ?!?! "Why on earth did you choose shark?"
Thomas: " Because 'shark' is my favorite word. And you're my favorite person....i don't know...just makes sense I guess. I love the word 'pirate' too, but that's daddy's. "
April 4th - Jeff quote
Late night moments with the great and awesome Jeff Treece! Tv was talking about capitols of states
Jeff: I at least know Texas!
Me: Oh really...?
Jeff: Yeah...Its Houston...or Austin... something "stin"
Me: Come on...which one
Jeff: I can't answer right now...ummm... I'm busy...
April 17th
"The dogs butt smells like daddy's shoes"
April 20th
Awkward late night conversations...
Thomas: "Do girls make babies faster than boys?"
Me: "What!?!? I mean... Why do you ask?"
Thomas: "Cause when you and daddy made me, you won and had me, right? And now Rachel and Tim are making a baby, and she looks like she is going to win too."
Me: "I am not sure you really understand it all, but yeah...sure...it takes two people, and the mommy's end up finishing at the end"
Thomas: " It's okay. I doesn't matter if you win or lose, as long as you have fun. Do you think Rachel and Tim had fun? "
Dirty mind me : " I bet they did"
Thomas: " Did you and daddy? "
Should have seen that coming me: " You bet, now excuse me, I have to write that down, so I can tell your future wife about this."Innocent as ever Thomas: " Okay, tell her I will let her finish first. "
April 26th
Thomas was outside with his cousin Will, and each just got a cookie from Rachel. Jeff goes outside to join them. Thomas was being silly and not talking...instead he was pointing to the cookie that was on the deck. Jeff is confused and says "Don't leave it there, it could get dirty. Just eat it."
Thomas gets an evil grin and munches down on it.
His cousin Will comes by and says "Hey wait a minute...where's my cookie?"
May 1st
So Thomas says I use a lot of big words. I told him big words help us use less words to communicate, and that I love that he is always asking what they mean. He smiled and said he also likes guessing what they mean and asked me to give him some big words for him to guess. Here are some of the winners:
Illiterate = “when you should recycle?”
Plausible = “when something was good enough to clap at?”
And for you Chiropractic folks…. Subluxation = “sandwich station?”
AND MY FAVORITE!!!
Experience = “When you learn something from what your friend does”
May 12th
Whilst on the potty, Thomas brings up his game plans for the future. I guess it is true that guys contemplate the universe while doing #2.
"Mommy when I grow up I am going to do 5 things!
1. Be a donut maker
2. Build an Iron Man Suit
3. Be a firefighter
4. Save the Day
5. Marry Anais"
#5 really got me stuck.
My reply was: "You may want to ask her mom about that last one"
Without missing a beat, Thomas replied: "If I am a firefighter, Maria (her mom) will definitely say yes.
June 3rd
It's midnight, and I hearing the blood curling scream of a toddler and then several hollering cries for 'mommy'. I race upstairs to the room at lightning speed, scared out of my mind, shouting ' I am coming' 'what's wrong' 'I love you'.
Get to his room he is sitting up and sobbing. His cries have become a whisper and I run to hold him and ask what's wrong.
"The doggy farted in my face! *sob* He woke me up *sob* and it was horrible...just really bad *sob*. Stop laughing Mommy *sob* it's not funny. I will never stop smelling that. *sob*"
After my heart slowed down, and I stopped inwardly laughing, "Thomas I am just glad you're okay and not hurt. You scared me. "
Thomas's eyes start drooping back to sleep. "I fart when daddy tickles me, I will ask him to tickle me next to Tanner next time" Eyes close....
Ladies and gentleman....my sons greatest scare, and his plot for revenge.
June 22nd
"A burp is a fart going backwards..."
June 28th
When talking about his soon-to-be born cousin, Thomas is hilarious!
"Do you think he will be a Ninja baby, or a pirate one? Or both? Instead of crying he would just say ARRRR-hi-yah! "
"I bet he farts on Tim first..."
"When I was a baby, I would poop when Rachel held me...so I think I will just hold his hand so he doesn't get any ideas"
"If he is ugly at first, I know it's okay...he will be handsome like me in a few days. It would be mean to make a bad face, like I make when I eat pickles. I should say he is cute or just not saying anything at all."
"I hope he gets put together like a Lego guy, or like Voltron"
"How bad will his feet smell? Do I have to touch his feet, or can I just give him socks?"
"His middle name shouldn't be Allen...it should be Awesome. That is a great middle name!"
July 8th
Couple short laughs later, Thomas adds "And his mom got in trouble because she went crazy when they tried to hurt her baby."
I chuckle and said "Yeah, Disney had that right. We mom's lose our minds if someone hurts our kids. I know I would if someone hurt you."
Thomas, "What about my wife? Will she be crazy too? I think I want a crazy wife to have kids with."
July 28th
Thomas: "I dreamed I wasn't sick. It was the best dream ever."
Me: "That dream will come true, don't worry."
Quick thinking Thomas added, "Well, then I also dream that I had $100 dollars"
August 4th
Thomas and Jeff were playing a board game, and Jeff has to get up for something. I walked in a just started chatting with Thomas. I wanted to check his comprehension of the game, so I asked him 'how do you play?'
No kidding, here is his response. " First don't hit people who are on the same space if they are on your team. And then don't ask your parents to leave the room so you can cheat."
August 17th
Last night we were watching Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. At one point in the movie Persephone was flirting with the satyr Grover. Thomas just yelps "No! Do do that! Don't kiss him!!!!"
Me: "Why not?"
Thomas: "That's just gross!"
Me: "What? I kiss Daddy"
Thomas: "Yeah, but you love Daddy. They just met. That's yucky and wrong."
Hahaha. Apparently Thomas's principle is: Only kiss people you love.
August 17th
"You can rock and roll, but only at the same time.
Doing them at different times could hurt."
August 24th
"Pooping is the hardest thing I will do in my entire life!"
August 25th
Picking out his lunch sandwich options for his first week of school. When I asked
him what he wanted he said, "Mom, you are the best cook in the world. Why are you asking me how to make my sandwich? I know that you know what I like. Just add bacon."
September 13th
Thomas will make a great boyscout...
Jeff: "Come on, Thomas lets get ready to go garage sale'ing"
Thomas: "Yes, and we must bring weapons in case we have to fight monsters"
September 14th
A neurology lesson from Thomas...
"When the song of the icecream truck hits my ears, it tells my brain that my legs that I need to catch it. When I see it with my eyes, this makes my stomach jump. And when your stomach jumps...you know that you jump too. Because I am excited. So my brain tells my legs to jump too. And when I taste it with my tongue, it tells my mouth to smile. So its really not my fault that I get crazy. Its my awesome brain. When it hears the truck, it gets super-powers to do all those things."
September 14th
Late Night Thomas Tales - Just Amazing...
On Saturdays we do not have a bed time, and we typically watch alot of movies or hang-out until our 5 year old's eyes can't stay open anymore. Tonight he wanted to go for a late night walk to see if he could spot a wolf and to wish upon a star. Given as we are not in a wolf or coyote area...a walk sounded good as it is the perfect weather outside.
Thomas and I walked hand in hand towards the park and he finally spots the "most perfect star" and he closes his eyes. In a loud whisper to in himself, in a pipsqueak voice, he says "I wish all people were healthy, and that no one's mommies ever got sick again."
September 19th
Poor little man feels like his heart is breaking
Back story. I have a bunch of jewelry that I just never wear. Being practical, I figure it would be best to give it away to someone who can sell it or use it. Thomas saw the pile of jewelry and we told him why. His eye lit up and grabbed a heart necklace.
Thomas: "Can I give this to Anais (girl he has been crushing on for 4 years)? Its for when we get married! She loves jewelry"
Me & Jeff: "Awwww....that's so sweet" But then it dawned on us that we haven't told them that they are moving out of state next month. Whoops. So after he is making these grand plans to present her with jewelry and candy...we drop the bomb-shell.
Got out a globe and showed him where we are, and rotated it to show where they were moving.
I called her mom to let her know. Her mom told him in a 20 years, or if they ever move back, that he can be her charming prince. He like the idea of sweeping her off her feet! After I hung up he said that if he sweeps her off his feet, in 20 years he will be strong enough to lift her if she is still in a wheel chair
September 24th
Thomas: "You're my favorite mommy."
Me: " I am your only mommy."
Thomas: "No you're not. I also have a meemaw and grandmama"
Touché ...
September 29th
"Why are there no songs about robot turtles that play with sharks? Now that would be awesome music!"
October 8thThomas tried to sneak up behind me just now, even after he had 'gone to bed' several hours ago. I asked him why he was up. He stood up straight and looked me dead in the eye and present this speech, "I have 3 good reasons to be awake. First, its kind of a secret, but I'm a pirate, and pirates don't follow rules. And when I am not a pirate, I am a ninja. Ninja's fight best at night. And three-ly, And you said the sun is always up somewhere on earth cause it rotates. But also, if I was asleep, how could I tell you how much I love you? No wait, that's four. Take off the pirate, that's daddy's reason"
November 2nd
Thomas got tongue tied!
At Drew and Chao's wedding Thomas wanted to dance with Chao.
I guess he was shy because he went to ask her, and when she looks at him he faltered. He said "Ummm...did you know....ummmm...I sit over there?" and walked away after describing his table. Hahaha #Classic
Second time, I help him ask. She grabs his hand and sways...and he pretty much just stands there frozen. Since he normally busts a move, it was odd. Finally Chao got him to talk but all he said was he wanted to tell me a secret. I scooted to the floor and bent down to hear "Mommy, I am scared."
Me:"What? You're scared? Why?"
Thomas: *stutters* "Because she is so beautiful"
November 6th
No joke...Thomas wanted me to smell his new soap, so he came up to me and said "Smell my finger."
Awkward :(
November 22nd
I love listening in on Thomas and his cousin. I am in the next room when I hear this gem of a conversation.
Will: "Your mommy is cool, but my mommy is really really cool"
Thomas: "Callie is cool, but my mommy isn't. She is awesome. I love my mommy more than your love your mommy"
Will: "You have got to be joking! I love my mommy the mostest ever."
Thomas: "Okay, you can love her the mostest, and I will love mine the bestest, and we both win."
Will: "okay. What about Daddy?"
Thomas: "I don't know! They are weird. Wanna race?"
December 10th
Pre-Holiday Gift shopping advise from Thomas:
Well...that's uh... close? Almost has the holiday spirit down.
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| Coming Soon! |
Check out quotes from other years...
